"
i gotta find my purpose. wow. those lines really stuck to me. the reason for living. one of the lasallian brothers once gave a talk to us and he asked us if we found the reason we wake up and got out of bed every morning. i sure haven't. so why do i need to get up? what is there to live for anyway?i'm sure that
misery is not a pretty good reason to wake up. misery. emptiness. lifelessness. but nonetheless, they are the very same things that greet me when i wake up. i hear the dull repetitive sound of day-to-day existence. i'm tired of it. i'm sick of it. sure, it may signify the order, the rationale of living. maybe even the absolute condition of perfection - everything in timing, the notes in accord. and what more should i wish for? yet i find myself wishing for a note to get off-key.oddly enough - it might ruin the music of my life. but it doesn't make me feel sorrow.
and even more odd is the fact that i wish for it, yet i do not even know if it would make me happy.i want to be happy.
"
The clock ticked: 8:05 AM